I’m mobile so I can’t do a read more so like tw for depression and suicide
I’ve been thinking about that post from the other day that said “I’m only 21 and i feel like I’m running out of time”. I’ll only be 20 for another 5 months after that I’ll be 21. I’ll be legal to drink so no more sneaking…
I can’t see this post and not say anything. You are important. I’ve wanted to move out for years. I literally have baby photos where it is obvious my mum was being tortured by the marks left on her hands. The times where your own family make you doubt what has happened, you have the evidence in front of you and the gaslighting fucks you up to the extent of thinking everything is a lie, even the validity of your life. I want to move but my options are so limited the bank even told me if I can get the money together they won’t consider me for a house for three years because I’m just too young. The only thing that I recommend is that you can sometimes only remedy yourself with the goal of making the next 12 or 24 hours enjoyable.
Enjoying the five minutes extra you get avoiding that toxic someone.
Pacing yourself and giving yourself any type of reward for making it a little further without wanting to slice your own throat or downing every pill you could find in the house.
I always feel like that seven year old being lied to, always that eleven year old that wanted to just drop dead. Sometimes depression is a part of you as a person and the only right way to feel good is to take care of yourself and ignore all those that constantly want you to think you are less smart, pretty, talented, wonderful and fucking brilliant you know you are.
It is easier to live in the bubble of make up, style, class and confidence then to let the world in to hurt you again.